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With college looming for his high school junior son, journalist Andrew Ferguson realized how much he had to learn about the admissions process.

In "Crazy U: One Dad's Crash Course on Getting His Kid into College," Ferguson details an intensely competitive world in which some parents will pay consultants as much as $40,000 to help their child gain acceptance to a top school. Even applicants of more ordinary means can spend several thousand dollars on standardized tests, prep courses, college visits and applications.

In the end, Ferguson, who is a senior editor at the "Weekly Standard," came to believe that it's best not to take the process too seriously.

He found reassurance in studies showing that a child's future success isn't reliant on which college or university they wind up attending, though going to an elite school, such as Harvard, may open more doors. The important thing is to get the degree.

"Twenty years after graduation, there is no difference in job satisfaction, income level, divorce rates, family break up rates, suicide rates--none of that can be predicted by where the kid went to school," he says.

What's more, nine in 10 kids who apply with serious intentions land at one of their top three schools and like their choice.

Having survived the process twice--Ferguson's daughter will start college in the fall and his son will be a junior--he shares five tips on how to come through the experience with sanity and humor intact.

Don't worry, be happy

The "multibillion-dollar" industry of college consultants and experts claim they can help ease the process, but the ones Ferguson met mostly made him more anxious.

Among these consultants' biggest red flags are parents who wait until junior year to really start thinking about their child's college prospects. However, Ferguson's advice is to mostly ignore the experts and make the process fit your child's needs and interests.

"I can't put my finger on anything that we suffered because we started in the middle of his junior year," he says. "I can't see what the drawback was. You have to be on the lookout to be able to separate what is actually something to pay attention to from the smoke coming up from the huge machinery that's designed to exploit every anxiety you have about your child."

Parental tests

Deciding whether to micro-manage the process or give your children leeway to meet application and other deadlines is one of the biggest challenges for parents. Ferguson, calling the experience "parenthood in concentrated form," recommends finding the happy medium that best suits your kid.

"It's all the things that go into being a parent packed into one 18-month-long process," he says. "The biggest part is the central question of being a parent: How much and when do you control your kids and how much and when do you let them go?"

In Ferguson's case, he and his wife found it necessary to give his son a "swift kick" at critical moments, especially when applications came due. This fall, Ferguson's son Gillum will start his junior year at the University of Virginia. However, for his daughter, Emily, who this fall will enter the College of Charleston, they largely took a backseat in the process because she wanted more independence.

Ask the experts?

In his book, Ferguson attends a session by a college consultant who commands up to $40,000 for her help. While such services are out of the price range of most families--including Ferguson's--one in four students at a private college or university has tapped an adviser for his or her applications. In specific instances, such an expenditure can be money well spent, Ferguson believes.

"If there is a particular school that's very selective, like Juilliard, it might behoove you to get somebody who knows a lot about Juilliard to give you some tips on how to proceed," he says. "But beyond that, it's hard for me to see why people would pay any vast amounts of money on this thing. It's already expensive."

However, SAT-prep courses can make a difference in scores, especially for those who are not naturals with standardized tests. Ferguson's son took such a course, but self-motivated parents and students can download old tests and garner advice on them.

"If your son or daughter is studious enough and can spend five hours a week over the course of a month, you don't have to spend the money," he says.

Don't pay retail

Although Ferguson never quite got a handle on how colleges and universities determine the fees each student will pay, he discovered hardly anyone pays the "sticker price."

While larger schools usually can assemble a package of loans, grants and work-study, some smaller liberal arts schools may depend more on getting the tuition in cash and not have much aid available.

At the same time, it's not prudent to evaluate a pricier school's value in terms of its impact on a student's future earnings. Your son or daughter could start as pre-med or pre-law, but end up switching to a major with lower salary potential.

"You can't base the decision on return on investment," Ferguson says.

Final acceptance: yours

Whether you've carefully proofed your child's college essays and would move into their dorm if you could, or if you're ready to say, "See you at Thanksgiving," at some point you have to respect your kid's pick for his or her college experience.

"You say, I've done everything I can and hope that you've done a good job of preparing them, so they don't do too many stupid things," Ferguson says. "They all do, and every parent did stupid things, too."

The college process, like so much of parenting, is about getting kids ready to handle the real world--on their own.

"Being a parent is about teaching the people you can't live without to live without you," he says. "You have kids and love them so much that you have to teach them to go away. It's a paradox, but you have to do it."

For related news and other coverage from Schools.com, see:

• Degree decisions: How to choose a college major (infographic)
• Twelve jobs that pay well and don't require a four-year degree
• Degree value in dollars: It pays to be unpopular (infographic)
• How facebook is reshaping college admissions