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The transition from high school to college can be an anxious time--for parents, that is. Your daughter or son is about to embark on the first steps of adult life, and as much as you want to help foster success, now is the time when you have to start backing off. Read on for a list of 7 things not to do to help your child get into college.

1. Focusing Too Much on Success

Parents put a lot of pressure on students to earn great grades, be the best on the team, or the leader of the group. Kids need challenges, but they also need to enjoy learning and participating. Students need to be told sometimes that their best effort is good enough.

According to Dr. Richard Kadison in "College of the Overwhelmed," even top students in high school often find coursework in college tougher than they expected. If they aren't prepared to take that B+ with the knowledge that they did their best and that's okay, the anxiety of perceived failure could cause them to start actually failing.

2. Losing Sight of Balance

Of course grades are important when applying to college. Involvement and activities are important too. But if you're trying to make your child the next Michael Phelps on top of 4.0 gpa, you may be taking it too far. In your own life, you need to find the right balance of work, family, and leisure; your college-bound child has the same need. And colleges look for it too.

3. Pressuring Your Child to Follow in Your Footsteps

You have hopes and dreams for your child, but she has her own dreams and aspirations. When planning for college, really listen to your son or daughter. Setting her up to follow in your footsteps at your alma mater might seem like a good idea, but it could really be setting her up for failure if she is more interested in philosophy than finance. Find out what her passions are--or if she even has any--at this point in her life. You might be surprised.

4. Looking at the Wrong Schools

Author Sandra Davie makes an important point: just because a school has a great reputation, that does not mean your child will perform at his best there. The reality of it is that many students do better as a big fish in a medium-sized pond, having more confidence opportunities to stand out.

5. Applying to Every School that Sends You Mail

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, there are more than 4,000 degree-granting institutions in the U.S. Your student is obviously going to need to narrow down that list, but how many is enough and how many is too many?

The College Board reports that many high school seniors have been applying to as many as 20 colleges, which is far too many. The shotgun approach isn't advisable for a few reasons--there's no time to research the schools in detail, it is an excessive amount of work, and it won't improve chances for acceptance or financial aid. Take the time to make a short list of schools that are both feasible and attractive--five to eight is more than enough.

6. Visiting Schools Without Your Student

You've spent the better part of two decades checking things out for your kid, like an advance guard. However, now is the time to start letting your student run the point. There is no reason parents should ever go visit a college without their child. After all, your child is the one who is going to spend the next four or five years there, not you. If you want her to feel comfortable enough to succeed, her opinion is the one that matters most.

7. Doing the Work for Your Student

You have probably also spent a considerable amount of time filling out paperwork on your son or daughter's behalf. That has to stop now. From applications to personal essays to the FAFSA, your child needs to learn how to start handling his own life--unless you want to spend every weekend at the dorm doing his laundry.

You have done all you can raising your children, and their need for you won't stop when they set foot onto campus. Be there to field questions--and maybe even do a little proofreading--but have faith. This is your kid and you've gotten him this far.

Read about the BEST ways to help your student get into college.